Thursday, May 1, 2014

The 405

"Take the 5 to the 405, but then catch the 10 over to Santa Monica.  Drive north on the PCH through Malibu and then over to Camarillo.  Get back on the 101 and you're home free.  It's a little longer, but then you avoid the 405 pile up."

"Man, you sound like a Saturday Night Live skit ," my brother said, laughing.

The truth is, I will go miles and miles out of my way to avoid the 405--that 70 mile stretch of freeway that connects San Diego and L.A.  So when a friend gave me this 405 cap, I laughed so hard, tears started to roll down my cheeks.  It has become my Good Luck Charm whenever I need to drive south.  Try as I might, though, at some point I have to get on the darn thing.  There's just no way of getting around it.
I've had locals in Beijing, Panama City and London all tell me, "If you can drive here, you can drive anywhere."

I always give them my long look.  Clearly, dude, you've never driven the 405.  Eight lanes of testosterone-driven druggies.  Endless construction.  Ramp closures.  Bomb scares.  Road rage.  LAX.  Lost tourists trying to find the Getty.  Good luck with that one!   Limousines.  Horns.  Harley's squeezing in between me and a Greyhound bus.  Cars on fire.  More road rage.  I got off on in sheer terror one day and ended up witnessing some guy in a blue Mustang being chased by six cop cars.  I got right back on again.

"Mom, it's really not so bad," my youngest son advises.  He lives in Long Beach.  "Just drive it between midnight and four."

 Sharing with my tribe at Style Crone's Hat Attack before "attacking" the 405 yet once again!

1 comment:

  1. I love your "405" headwear and your story about the "405." Your writing is a beautiful as your sense of humor. Thank you for sharing with Hat Attack!